So I just flew back to Sandwich, Illinois, and boy is my stomach tired. And full. And broken, kind of. This somewhat satisfying, but more so horrifyingly uncomfortable, condition is a direct result of yet another crashed party. That’s right, jerks. Since there was nothing good happening anywhere nearby ever in life (no thanks to you, my lazy ass “fans”), I invited my damn self to a spectacular Halloween party in Hotlanta, Georgia. Or should I say “spooktacular?” No, I agree. I don’t want to sound like a total knob. I’ll stick to spectacular.
And spectacular it was. The table was heavy with vittles; dips, chips, carbs, and cupcakes abounded. Tiny sandwiches were made with spinach dip and triangles of rye bread. There were appearances of foreign foods from several different lands, beyond even the Midwest. My famous “Stew” was created once again when I placed crushed up barbecue potato chips on top of the spinach and tomato couscous and ate it with a fork. Yeah, that’s right. You don’t even know me. This party rocked.
The one complaint I had was all the waste. I swear, one girl spilled four drinks all by herself within about seven minutes. For real? I mean, for REAL? God. Anyhow, there was also the incident with the tray of vodka-infused jello. You see, the bottom layer, or “skin,” if you will, was extremely hard and chewy, so people were just eating the top and throwing the gross part out in the yard. I understand being disgusted by certain things, i.e. certain curry flavors, funny bites of chicken, seafood in general (sick, guys). But really, this was just jello! What a waste…what a shame.
Oh, and one last thing. I love Burger King as much as the next guy, but when somebody showed up dressed up as the king, I just about lost it. I HATE that king! I couldn’t even look at his stupid monkey face. Not a good representative of the delicious burgers they sell, my friends. Not at all.
Besides the obvious stupidity and creepiness described above so eloquently, I have to say…this was a damn good party. And you missed it. Suckers. That’s what you get for being such suckers. I would strongly suggest coming to see the new pictures. I mean, it won’t even be close, I can guarantee that. But it’ll be as close as you jerks will ever get. Damn. What would you even do without me?
Xoxo, delicious food
P.S. There were a few other VERY delicious dishes --- Monkey Bread and Buffalo Chicken Dip to name a couple -- that did not get photographed becuase my dears, I overindulged on the hard stuff and lost my camera for awhile. Apologies for this act of neglect!
A cupcake tribute to the Chicago Bears
Ceasar Salad with fresh parmesean
Dolma (stuffed grapeleaves) and lemon slices
Black bean and corn salsa
Frankenstein Cookies (courtesy of A Bustle in a Hedgerow and A Spring clean for the May Queen)
Bruschetta on toast
Hummus with olive oil
Spinach dip with pretzel chips
veggie tray with ranch dressing
macaroni and cheese with tomatoes and peas
Couscous with spinach, tomatoes, and melted cheese
Mozzarella Cheese Sticks with Marinara Sauce (also delicious with CoolWip when in a munchie mood)
A cheese and ham party platter - a surprise from the sexiest Black Widow I've ever seen.
Life saving yogurt-covered pretzels - there was a rumor that one of the party hosts ate nothing but these and snap peas all night.
A Skeleton and Martian cake - dreadful! A delightful contribution from the Pearly Gates AND the Fires of Hell
You greedy little goblins didn't get enough on Saturday night, did ya? You want more of the delicious food from the Halloween party, do ya? Well make it yourself!
